talk IS cheap!

I mean this sincerely - talk IS cheap! I am generally an encouraging person! If I were a super hero, my name would be the Big E and I could breath underwater - that last trait has nothing to do with encouragement I just think it would be cool.

My favorite person from the Bible is Barnabas - and of course Jesus.
He was the Apostle Paul's sidekick who went out telling the world about Jesus. When Paul started bad mouthing John Mark because he wasn't doing a good job, Barnabas stood up for him and offered to take John Mark with him and teach him how to do a good job! Now that is encouraging!
You can read about this in Acts 15:35-41 (page 853 in my Bible)

I have the pleasure of teaching with a lady who is Pollyanna, Mary Poppins and Ms. Frizz - remember her from the Magic School Bus? all rolled up into one. Everyday she greets our 1st graders like they are the most important people alive. Her positive attitude is contagious. If kids are misbehaving instead of pointing out the bad behaviour she will point out who is doing the right thing - "Look at Susie sitting at her seat with her pencil out - she looks ready" (all done in that great teacher voice) Immediately you have 25 other kids scrambling to do the right thing so she will recognize them - it is magic, try it at home!

Over the years I have worked with some challenging students and last year I was introduced to a behaviour chart that actually works! I am not a big fan of charts and rewards although I did put Cheerios in the toilet and let my boys "sink" them to encourage potty training! But this chart works because it uses positive language. If a child is making a good choice it is written in the good choice column. If they make a bad choice, you write it on the bad choice side and then brainstorm how they could turn it into a good choice. Once they do, they cross out the bad choice and write in the new good choice - SO SIMPLE. And at the end of the day if all the bad choices are crossed out and only good choices remain - REWARD! Which is as simple as feeding the fish or reading a book or sinking Cheerios.

They say it takes 7 positive words to cancel out 1 negative. When my kids would fight with each other I would make them sit knee to knee and say 5 nice things about each other - no repeats, since they would let the other go first and then just repeat back word for word what they had just said - they would get to giggling so hard, the fight would be over. - I still threaten to have them do this but maybe I need to up it to 7.

Everyone likes to hear a kind word - whether it is written or said out loud. Our kids like to write us notes and slip them into our lunches. Before Cam leaves on a trip we hide letters in his bag. I sometimes find one tucked under my pillow. A friend and her daughter share a journal that they communicate in and pass it back and forth. One birthday each of the kids and Cam wrote me a letter telling me what I meant to them. It takes no money, just the time and energy to build up another person and let them know how important they are.

The Bible says "Therefore encourage one another" and this makes a lot of SENSE!!

Does Anyone Have An Anvil?

That was an actual question posted on Facebook by my dear friend Sarah - You just had a baby Sarah, why do you need an anvil? Didn't you get one at your baby shower?

It does bring up a great money saving idea - ASKING! It used to be that if you were in need of something, you put the word out, or walked over to you neighbors house, or called your Dad, or asked at work if anyone had an "anvil", you could borrow. Now a days we drive to "Anymart", overpay for it, use it once and put it in the closet.

Let's go back to the good old days. If you need something ask 1st, buy 2nd. My brother and I share a rototiller. My other brother and I swap back and forth a trailer, roof top carrier and chainsaw. A friends' neighborhood bought a snow blower together and take turns using it on those snowy mornings.

I wanted to try straightening my hair, so I asked at work. I ended up with 2 straighteners that people were happy to clean out of their closets. That inspired me to make a "Give and Take" board for the faculty room. On one side people listed things that they were looking to get rid of and the other side they put something they were looking for - ALL for FREE! I am the last person you would call "green" but this was pretty darn green!

When my boys went to Prom I asked around if anyone had a tux. I borrowed tuxes from 2 different friends - since 1 son is normal height and one is freakishly tall. All it cost me was the price of dry cleaning.
If you don't ask, you don't know!

Online they have a site called Freecycle where people list things they are giving away - all you have to do is  pick up. And I heard about a college that has a room where students can drop off unwanted items and take whatever items they are interested in.

This idea forces us to interact with those around us, be willing to receive as well as give away, clean out our clutter and not pay to bring more clutter in and above all:
Reduce,
Reuse,
Recycle - that all makes cents!

Storytime

Snow falling, fire crackling, good book unfolding.

Fresh from bath, cotton pajamas, snuggling while reading.

I love reading almost as much as I love reading to kids. That feeling of being swept up and transported to another place and time, or hearing a child recite along with you a funny line in a book - Is there anything better? 

Writing is a gift and good writing is a blessing! Authors deserve to be paid for it, but my love for books far outweighs my wallet. Also, I married a man whose livelihood depends on him being well read or as he likes to say "a carpenter has his tools". Well he has a full "workshop". And yes, he has read everyone of those books on his shelves.

There are many wonderful resourses now to obtain books for a reasonable price - Amazon, Ebay, garage sales, CBD, friends and family, thrift shop - actually that is where he ends up while I am clothes shopping. But one of the best resourses for a wide variety of books is the public library. It came to me last night as I was doing my taxes - what a great way for the government to spend my tax money - it might be the only one!!

Libraries can be a best kept secret! You go in sample a variety of literature and media and can leave with 30 books, 5 Dvds,  10 CDs and 10 magazines and you have 3 weeks (1 for dvds) to enjoy them. What a bargain!

I like to go to the new arrival rack and it is there that I discover new authors and topics - if it at all interests me, I check it out. When I get home and start reading it and I decide I don't like it - I stop - I have lost nothing. 

Once, while packing for vacation I loaded my canvas bag full of 30 books into the van and was challenged by one of my kids (probably the one that was trying to pack the van with all our stuff) that I would never read all those books in 1 week. Well,  I did - some more read than others - but who cares - it was all for free.

They also have some great books on tape - we try to get one if we are going on a trip - it makes the time fly by and we can all enjoy and discuss a book together. Just make sure the trip is long enough - we have gotten half way through a book and then tried to finish it at home - it was hard to get everyone together and to sit still long enough to finish. There is nothing like the captive audience a long car ride brings.

The children section of the library is a great resourses to introduce your little ones to a variety of authors and characters - without breaking the bank. Some branches even have story time - what a great activity to enjoy together. Or if you start reading aloud to your own child, I'm sure you may become the story lady. They also lend puppets, puzzles and toys - check with your branch.

Every teacher I have ever worked with will tell you the best thing you can do for your child is to read to them. Kids love repetition, and could probably listen to the same story again and again. I once worked with a student and we read the same book after lunch for 4 months straight - every time we would look for something new in the pictures and story line - I never thought I could enjoy a book so much! But with the library you have variety! And if you find a favorite and after you have checked it out at least 3 times - look for it on Amazon or ebay to put into your library. A child's library of their very own is a treasured keepsake.

Magazines are expensive and once read, really are disposable, why not borrow them or if you have time, spend a leisurely hour sitting down at the library to read one.

Their movie section isn't the greatest but it is definately worth checking out - especially for children's movies and classics. I will find movies I haven't seen in a while, or ones that I might have missed. They also now lend TV series, instructional videos, exercise and travel tapes. Thinking of learning Zumba? Borrow it first from the library!

Once you get your books and have checked out, put that "receipt" on your fridge and circle the due date on your calender. With little ones, it is a good idea to keep library books in a canvas bag so they don't get lost in your house. The "Free" library isn't free if you are paying overdue fines.

Take advantage of your local Library - it makes really good cents!

Play Ball

Driving home from church today I asked the boys what I should write about today - "Nothing" was the first response but then they said how about playing sports. With 4 kids that take after their Mom- haha, sports have been a part of our lives.

How cute are little 5 year olds running en mass after a soccer ball - pretty darn cute! But we knew we had to pace ourselves - 4 kids, 3 sports season, not including summer could equal a lot of sports. So before we got swept up and started signing contracts Cam and I decided "how much sports" was a good thing for our family.

We came to the conclusion that 1 sport per season was plenty. We tried to find leagues that focused on team building more than winning and we wanted our kids to try many different sports - they didn't have to play forever but they had to finish the season. And if we could get multiple children on the same team - all the better - our chances were good, since they are all 2 years apart and we were able to do this for number of sports and when they swam - all 4 could be on the same team.

Then as heredity would have it we got that fateful phone call - Megan has been selected for the travel softball team
- in additional to the regular team. New territory for us. We asked a lot of questions and decided that the extra time, money and focus on just one child didn't fit into our families values.
Was she crushed?
Disappointed?
In need of therapy?
None of the above - we told her how nice it was to be asked, but in the end, she was still playing softball - we just weren't driving 200 miles to do so.

By the time kids reach jr. high - a wonderful thing happens - school sports! Where they stay after to practice and play games -  no extra nights out, no driving and it's free! There is one catch - you have to make the team, but the good thing is, there are plenty of options - not just sports, but the arts, clubs, etc. There was even an "Amazing Race" club where they sat around and watched reruns of the show - really!

We had the same rule for school sports - only one, if you made the school team, no community team, but if you didn't make the school team we would scramble to get you signed up for the community team or encouraged you to get involved in another activity.

And let's not underestimate the value of unorganized sports - playing tag in the backyard, jumping on the trampoline, getting crushed in badminton by your mom!

This has worked for our family - sports are a part of who we are, not the whole thing. I want my kids to love God first, others second and have fun third. If all we focused on was sports, it would be hard to fit the other 2 in. And the older they have gotten, they have zoned in on a few things and doing those few things well. We have been able to be at their games, concerts, art shows, etc. because there wasn't a gazillion of them. It is fun to see who God has made them to be and how He has gifted them to serve Him - and for us - it always makes cents!

Shave and a Haircuts Two Bits

Remember that old saying?

Now it will cost you at least $15 to get a basic haircut. My Mom was the hair cutter in our family. I wish I could share with you all the pictures I have of me and my sister with our little Dutch Boy Cut. Apparently she knew 2 cuts - Dutch Boy and Crew Cut - thank goodness the latter was reserved for my brothers. As I got older I progressed to a "Dorthy Hammel", Shag and Perm. Trust me, I am no authority on haircutting or beauty -  I never went to beauty school or took a correspondence course but still I figured - How hard could it be? -  I was soon to find out.

My Mom was the most patient, loving and kind woman I have ever known so the story I am about to tell you tested every one of  her many virtues. When my brothers and I were teenagers (and my mom was at work) they decided they would like a haircut - simple - lets go out back, get the clippers and cut. Now up to this point I had never once cut any one's hair but for some reason I was handed the clippers to do the cut. They said they wanted it short so I took off the height gage - I know now! - and proceeded to gauge my brothers' head - big bald spots began to appear, other areas were noticeably long, ouch was yelled many times, but I persisted. When it was all said and done - it looked horrible! But that didn't stop my other brother from hopping up in the chair to get his done - had I created a new look? Well, practice doesn't make perfect and both brothers ended up looking like sick, over plucked birds. At that point my Mom arrived home where she was greeted by the boys removing their baseball caps and declaring - Is that Mom? The look of horror on her face is still with me to this day. She then indicated that they looked like they were suffering from scabies and  I was ordered to take them to the barber shop and pay to have it fixed - short of a hair transplant, there was no fixing this!!

And so produced one of my "fondest" childhood memories. You know how they say you will laugh about it later - well we did! And the funny thing is - both my brothers are now bald by choice (and heredity) - I like to think that I had a part in that.

With that resume you would think I had learned my lesson and wouldn't be caught within 10 feet of scissors - wrong!! I tend to be a little hard headed when I envision myself doing something. Today I cut all my families' hair - as well as my own. I started with trimming Megan's and then having a friend teach me how to give a crew cut and use the clippers properly (believe it or not, this was after destroying half of Colin's head and rushing him over to her house for instructions - I told you I was hard headed!) It turns out crew cuts aren't so hard. Keep the gauge on, go against the growth of hair and trim. Also, keeping the clippers clean and oiled helps - I spray it with cooking oil before each cut. All my boys, including my husband have crew cuts so that makes it easy - and I do one cut - if you want lines and creativity you do it yourself. And for Megan - she has long hair, so really all I ever do is trim - if she wants something new, she goes to the professionals. For myself I would love to be able to remove my head from my neck, cut my hair and then reattach. But since that is impossible, I rely on help - I cut the front and then I get help on the back (usually one of my kids) - it helps that I have a lot of wave in my hair so evenness  is not required and I'm not too picky - hair grows back. I will go from time to time to a professional when my own efforts are waning but think of all the money we have saved over the years- 6 people with at least 8 haircuts a year (my boys now like their hair cut every 2 weeks) even if we went to the "Super-haircuttery" that is a lot of savings. Haircutting is also a great thing to barter with people - if you know how, you have leverage.

Spoiler Alert - I dye my hair. When I first noticed some grey hair I headed to Walmart and picked up a box of hair dye- the girl with the red hair on the box was crying out to me - now if you looked at my picture on my bio, you know that I am no ginger but secretly I always wanted to be. Again -  how hard could this be. I followed all the directions but after looking in the mirror the drastic change made me a little self conscience. I went outside where a  neighbor man yelled over asking me if I had dyed my hair -  No! I said and ran back in the house - 2 minutes later I went back out to confess - of course he knew I had dyed it and he assured me it looked good - just different.
Many years later, I still dye at home, but try to stick closer to my original color - it is easier and looks more natural. There are 3 levels of hair dye - #1 washes out in 6 - 12  shampoos  #2 lasts 24 shampoos and # 3 is permanent and you must wait for it to grow out. If you are going to do anything drastic - go to a professional.

Again, going to a salon to get your hair done is expensive and time consuming - give it a try on your own, you may be pleasantly surprised or you may just be wearing hats!

When Colin went away to school one of the biggest decisions wasn't what color comforter to buy for his bed but  where will he get his haircut? I told him just to find a barber, but he decided he could cut it himself, so him and Ryan learned how to give themselves crew cuts.

Like mother like sons - making a lot of cents!!

Laundry or How Cam Met My Family

True Story - Cam and I met over laundry - he carried my laundry basket up to my dorm room and it was instant love. He was soon introduced to my family by helping fold my families laundry - yes, that is your future father-in-laws boxers. OK it sounds weird when I say it out loud, but we got excited about clean clothes. Any family that owned their own laundry shoot should be excited - imagine the hours of fun we had lowering ourselves down it. Actually my Dad caught us once and that was the end of our fun.

So I did laundry like my family did laundry - as a team sport - all for 1 and 1 for all - "Come on boys, let's fold the whites".

Each of my kids knew how to start a load, switch a load and fold a load - but it was the sorting that drove me crazy - 4 kids, similar in height, weight and taste and I'm supposed to know that black sock isn't yours??  One day my son asked if he could keep his dirty clothes in his room and do his own laundry so he could be assured of getting his own clothes back. Brilliant! I put a laundry basket in each room (Cam and I share)  and now they decide when it is time to wash.

This system has worked beautifully. It wasn't about teaching them to do their wash but about eliminating the step of sorting the clothes - the clothes they put in the wash return right back to their rooms. I got to thinking that this could work for little ones too. What a special bond could be formed as you and your little one carry their basket, put it in the washer, then dryer and then sit together, fold and put away.

Now you may be saying a full load of clothes is cheaper to run and if you separated colored and whites you could have a pretty stinky room before it is time to do wash. We just mix ours together and run it on cold - I haven't noticed a difference. Also, you don't need to use a full capful of detergent - 1/4 will do.

I wish I had thought of this sooner - it would have made a lot of cents.

From pre-school to pre-med

A friend asked me the other day why I didn't send my kids to pre-school - look around, I told her, I gave birth to a pre-school! With 4 kids under the age of 6, it never really occurred to us that they were missing anything by not enrolling. Now, don't get me wrong, this is not a judgement call on schooling - we have always said there are 3 options - public, private and homeschooling and every family has to decided what is right for them and each of their children. Also, my husband and I chose professions that have us teaching every day. So why this decision?? 22 years ago pre-school was not the pre-requisite for success that it is today, but I think I would still make the same decision and if you are leaning that way - have confidence - you are not destroying your child's life.

So let's look at what value pre-school brings - basically it is socialization, self-control, letters and numbers. I couldn't justify shelling out big bucks so my kids could play and learn while I sat at home. So what to do??? We created our own "pre-school". At the time I attended a Women's Bible Study that offered babysitting and also babysat for another study so I not only got paid, but was able to include my own children. Also, our children attended Sunday School and Kid's Church each week - Church is a beautiful thing!!

Sure, it wasn't always easy - why is it your own children are the one's that misbehave when you are in charge?? But isn't that what parenting is all about - doing the hard stuff. Spending the time to play, and teach along the way - it doesn't have to be formal - it just has to be consistent. It just takes a little planning and creativity.

So why not create your own "pre-school"? Invite some other Mom's to rotate the "teaching" and that way you get a morning out and your child gets the opportunity to listen and obey another adult. Or another idea is to "barter" with another parent - perhaps it's a home cooked dinner in exchange for 2 hours of "pre-school" or a clean garage for a trip to the park?

By the time my youngest was home "alone" I was approached by a friend to watch her daughter - who was the same age as my son so she could home school a high school student. So for 5 mornings a week we had "pre-school". We played, shared, and learned from each other and at the end of the week I got paid to "educate" my son.

Now, you are asking, were my kids prepared for Kindergarten?
As a funny turn of events I ended up being hired when my youngest was in 2nd grade to work with his Kindergarten Teacher and I saw first hand what they expect from a new student in a very good school district.
Yes! They were ready for Kindergarten - they loved school, loved their teacher, knew how to sit in a circle and take turns. And isn't that what it is all about?

For our family, it just made cents!