Stone Soup

The best part about teaching first grade is that you read these nostalgic stories and then get to make the food that is in them. We just finished one such story and decided to make Stone Soup.

Let me refresh your memory. Stone Soup is about the hungry soldier who comes into town and no one will share their food with him. So he tells them that he is going to make stone soup. They are intrigued. First he put in the stone and then adds water. But do you know what would make this soup really good would be some carrots, well, wouldn't you know someone has some carrots. And potatoes would really make it taste better, oh, wouldn't you know someone has potatoes. And so the story goes until they have a full pot of delicious vegtable soup and oh yeah, there is a stone inside it too!

So each student brought in veggies and we made Stone Soup - but you could probably guess some of the responses we got - "I don't like it" (with fingers pinching his nose) "You've never had it before, so there is no way you can know!" Each child got a small helping and all but one tried it - some had 3 helpings!

So you can draw the moral - sharing is better than hoarding!

But what does that look like in real life! We used to live in townhouses that were connected. On summer nights we would decide on a menu and everyone would bring something. One would bring salad, another pasta, and another meatballs. The kids would play and the adults would sit around and "visit". One night my neighbor was commenting on how good the chilli was. She asked what the  recipe was. The cook told her that after every meal he would put the families leftovers into a tupperware container including whatever was left on his baby's high chair tray. Then he would add it to the chili. My neighbor just about threw up!  So maybe sharing isn't good!!

But you get the point, the Bible tells us if you have two coats, give one to someone who doesn't have any. Look around, what is it that you could be adding to the "pot"? Pray today and let the Holy Spirit tell you what it is you should do. Maybe it is sharing your time, your money, your food, your clothes, your cars, your house... If you have never done this before, it is fun. Get real quiet and real still and just listen....no, I mean really listen. And then act on what it is God is asking you to do. You probably already know what it is and you have been making excuses why you can't or that God must have you mixed up with someone else - no it's you (and me) that He is talking to.

Just the other day God was prompting me to call a friend who had shared with me a work struggle. Well, I put it off - doesn't God know that I work all day and then I have to make dinner, do the laundry, blah, blah, blah. Well, by Thursday, she called me - I guess God was tired of waiting on me and I missed out on obeying God and the blessings that brings- my bad! But other times I do listene - like the time I sent a note in the mail to a friend and was able to encourage her through some tough times.

It's pretty exciting to live this way - taking time to read the Bible, pray and then  listen to what God would have you to do. Try it - and just like Stone Soup you may like it! Sharing with others makes cents and sensibility!

Procrastination!

Happy Birthday to You!

True confession - I am a sucker for reality shows! The other night I happened upon a show that  featured outrageous childrens' birthday parties. This mom was throwing a "circus" party for her 7 and 9 year old - cute I thought, we've done circus parties before with little carnival games in the basement - boy was I completely wrong! This was a full blown circus at a rented gymnasium, complete with acrobats, clowns and live animals. Cam has no patience for these shows. As he walked into the room he took one look and said, turn that off. I couldn't, it was like a car wreck that I couldn't look away from!

So he left the room and I continued to watch in disgust! By the end of the show this Mom had spent over $50,000, totally alienated her two children that were appalled at the fact that they had to share a birthday party, and bribed her son as he entered the gym riding a camel to "smile and wave and I will pay you a dollar" - the way she was shelling out money, he could have held out for a hundred!

Most of our birthday parties have been thrown at home, with food and entertainment provided by mom and dad. I loved planing those parties. I would start with what the birthday child was into that year - maybe trains, cowboys, Ernie and Bert or camping. Then I would think of how to make every detail of that party revolve around that theme.

The invitation would usually be handmade with the help of the kids maybe using a copy machine or a stencil  - the fun of it is making it match your theme so the kids you are inviting know what is coming.

Side note - I would take that invitation and save one for their baby book - on the back I would interview the child and record their answers -  as to what they were into that year, their accomplishments, likes, dislikes and then tuck it into their baby book - at a glance they can now look back and see what that year for them was all about.

Back to the party - after we have the invites, then we would work on games - any basic game can be tweaked to make it fit a theme. For example - pin the tail on the donkey can become pin the badge on the cowboy. Just be creative. I will tell you from teaching school - kids don't play games like they used to - meaning without electricity - so if you introduce some retro games they will think you are a genius. We played "Who stole the Cookie from the cookie jar" the other day in school and the kids were rolling with laughter!

Food - again make everything fit the theme - a little tip for cake making is to cut the cake into the shape you want and then place it into the freezer - once it is frozen go ahead and put on the icing - the raw edges are easier to ice when they are frozen. With the food, you don't need to buy expensive party themed food, again, just rename classic kids food - the Internet is a great resource for creating themed food with fruit roll ups, popcorn or fruit.

If the theme warranted it, we would have little costumes the kids could wear - at the "sheriff" party we had badges and vests made out of brown grocery bags. At a princess party we decorated crowns and strung fruit loop necklaces that the girls wore. It is great to have a little craft for the kids to do during the party. Plan what you will do during the party - just letting the kids play is a recipe for disaster!

Party bags - yes, we did this! - I would take a brown lunch bag and decorate it according to the theme - usually with a stencil and then fill it with little treats - sometimes from the dollar store or handmade treats.

Last but not least - the thank you note! When making the invitations I would make extra cards for thank yous. After the party they would write - When they were little, I'd write and they would sign their names. As they got older they wrote a basic thank you and now it is a full fledged gratuitous note - some of their letters bring tears to my eyes because of  their sincerity. I am not saying this step is easy but it is a lost art - a hand written note is a gift to those we love and who have taken the time to buy us a gift - don't lose it! Set a time limit for writing - within 1 week is acceptable and if necessary keep the gifts until the notes are written, this may sound harsh, but it is a great motivator!

So don't be afraid to throw a party at home - keep the kids active, have plenty of healthy food, don't over invite (2-3 more children than the b-day child's age is a good rule of thumb for the number of guests - for example if it is the 8th birthday party invite 10 children) and most important - set a time limit - 2 hours is plenty of time for a good party.

Having a home party makes cents and sensibility!

It's Not Good, It's Not Bad, It's Just Different!

Anne, Me and Sharon

Yesterday I was on a "Teen Parenting Panel" at our church. I was joining 2 other moms whose kids happen to be my kids best friends. As we prepared for this workshop it was interesting to hear how each of us has approached parenting. Between us we have 13 kids - 8 of them being teenagers, 3 are in college, 1 is getting married and 3 of our boys are graduating from high school. As I listened to each of them talk I couldn't help but think "why didn't I do it that way, that is such a good idea, I guess I screwed up"?? I love to have a plan - but it can give you a false hope that in 10 easy steps you will have the perfect child. Well, it doesn't work that way - God does tell us to "plan our path, but that God will determine our steps".

As I write my blog and share parenting ideas with you I don't want you to think that everything we did was right - that is only what I share with you. There were plenty of things that didn't work out so well - you just won't hear about them!

It's amazing how 4 kids with the same exact parents can be so different, what works with one, falls flat with the other. I needed to "learn" my kids and parent them according to "the way they should go" - meaning the way God created them.

It was fun to sit with these ladies and hear what each of us are doing to raise Godly men and women, but the bottom line is all of our children are doing well - they love the Lord, are seeking to serve him and make the right choices. And when they make mistakes, we are able to help them turn to God for forgiveness (just like their parents have to do). You see when you are parenting -  it's not good, it's not bad it's just different!

I loved what Anne said "if our kids never struggle, they will never have a reason to turn to God in prayer."

So instead of feeling bad that I didn't do this or that with my kids, I need to remember that God made Cam and I their parents and placed them right where they should be. I need to seek wisdom daily from the Bible, my husband and Godly resources.

Sharon was kind enough to put together a resource list for our workshop and I want to share it with all of you! Enjoy!

TALK RADIO

WFIL 560 AM Philadelphia’s Christian Radio

  Look for these shows:

Family Life Today with Dennis Rainey, 9:00am and 8:00pm

Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, 7:00am and 8:30pm

New Life Live with Steve Arterburn, 1:00pm

Adventures in Odyssey, 7:30pm

MUSIC RADIO

STAR 99.1 FM Family Safe Music

K-LOVE 89.1 FM Christian Music

MARRIAGE

Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas

Love & Respect, Emerson Eggerich

The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman

The Love Dare, Stephen and Alex Kendrick

The Language of Love, Gary Smalley and John Trent

GUIDANCE FOR WIVES

Created to Be His Help Meet, Debi Pearl

Lies Women Believe (and the truth that sets them free), Nancy Leigh DeMoss

The Power of a Praying Wife, Stormie Omartian

What’s Submission Got to Do with It? Cindy Easley

Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, Joanna Weaver

GUIDANCE FOR DADS

Interviewing Your Daughter’s Date, Dennis Rainey

Every Man’s Battle, Stephen Arterburn

Wild at Heart, John Eldredge

FOR PARENTING

Shepherding a Child’s Heart, Tedd Tripp

Growing Kids God’s Way: Biblical Ethics for Parenting,

  Gary Ezzo

The Smart Parent, Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo

Parenting Today’s Adolescent, Dennis and Barbara Rainey

Boundaries for Teens, John Townsend

How To Talk So Teens Will Listen & Listen So Teens Will Talk,   Adele Faber

Teen Proofing, John Rosemond

Raising a Child Conservatively in a Sexually Permissive World, Sol Gordon and Judith Gordon

Family Faith Walks, Kelly J. Haack

Teaching Kids about God, John Trent, Rick Osborne and Kurt Bruner

Different Children Different Needs, Charles F. Boyd

Your Family, Kenn and Betty Gangel

Spiritual Mentoring of Teens, Joe White and Jim Weidmann

God Sex and Your Child, John Nieder

Confident Parents, Exceptional Teens, Ted Haggard and John Bolin

Bringing up BOYS, James Dobson

The World’s Easiest Guide to Family Relationships. Gary Chapman with Randy Southern

Fathering a Son, Paul Heiderbrecht and Jerry Rohrbach

Going Public, David and Kelli Pritchard with Dean MerrillAge of Opportunity, Paul David Tripp

Got Teens?, Jill Savage and Pam Farrel

Boundaries, Henry Cloud and John Townsend

Parenting Adolescents, Kevin Huggins

The 10 Best Decisions Every Parent Can Make, Bill and Pam Farrel

Daughters and Dads, Chap and Dee Clark

Sacred Parenting, Gary L. Thomas

Family-Based Youth Ministry, Mark DeVries

A Boy’s Passage, Brian D. Molitor

BOOKS FOR TEENS TO READ

Lies Young Women Believe, Nancy Leigh DeMoss and      Dannah Gresh (For girls)

The Truth about Guys, Chad Eastham (For girls)

Live Like a Jesus Freak, dc Talk

Every Young Man’s Battle, Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker (For boys)

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, Sean Covey

Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low

  Expectations, Alex and Brett Harris

Crazy Love, Francis Chan

The Hiding Place, Corrie Ten Boom

The Holiness of God, R.C.Sproul

More Than a Carpenter, Josh McDowell

The Reason for God, Timothy Keller

God’s Smuggler, Brother Andrew

Through Gates of Splendor, Elisabeth Elliot

The Cross and the Switchblade, David Wilkerson

Bruchko, Bruce Olson

Peace Child, Don Richardson

PURITY

I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Joshua Harris

Passport to Purity, Campuscrusade.com; Familylife.com

  An excellent do-it-yourself, audio-guided weekend

  for parent and young teen

The 10 Commandments of Dating, Ben Young

Pure Excitement, Joe White

Boy Meets Girl, Say Hello to Courtship, Joshua Harris

DEVOTIONALS

Faith Alone, Martin Luther

Jesus Calling, Sarah Young

Face to Face: Praying the Scriptures for Intimate Worship, Kenneth Boa

Family Devotions, Josh McDowell

Moments With You; Daily Connections for Couples,

  Dennis and Barbara Rainey

The Love Dare Day by Day, Stephen Kendrick

The One Year Mother Daughter Devo, Dannah Gresh with Janet Mylin

DVDs TO WATCH WITH YOUR TEENS

No Greater Love

The Second Chance

Faith Like Potatoes

Fireproof

End of the Spear

Facing the Giants

Flywheel

Remember the Titans

Radio

The River Within

Gifted Hands

Last Flight Out

Come What May

The Climb

To Save a Life

The Lost and Found Family

Amazing Grace

The Nativity Story

Love Finds a Home

Set Apart

The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry

The Grace Card—new in theaters

Courage—coming September 2011 in theaters 

CHRISTIAN WORLDVIEW

The Truth Project, Focus on the Family

Crazy Love, Francis Chan

Experiencing God, Henry Blackaby

The Holiness of God, R.C.Sproul

BIBLES   

New Living Translation (NLT), Tyndale Publishers

  (Easier to understand)  

New International Version (NIV), Zondervan 

  Life Application Study Bible 

  (Very popular translation, great study Bible) 

New American Standard Bible (NASB), Zondervan 

  (Accurate to original text, Pastors use at BFC) 

 

MOVIE REVIEWS   

www.pluggedin.com

BIBLICAL FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT

The Total Money Makeover, Dave Ramsey

Financial Peace Revisited, Dave Ramsey

TRUE STORIES OF MISSIONARIES

God’s Smuggler, Brother Andrew

Through Gates of Splendor, Elisabeth Elliot

The Cross and the Switchblade, David Wilkerson

Bruchko, Bruce Olson

Peace Child, Don Richardson

TRUE STORIES OF FAITH and FORGIVENESS

The Hiding Place, Corrie Ten Boom

Led by Faith, Immaculee Ilibagiza

Amish Grace, Donald Kraybill

Mother Teresa: A Complete Auth. Biography, Kathryn Spink

Into the Deep, Robert Rogers

SPONSOR A CHILD   

Compassion International, Compassion.com

EVANGELISM

Share Jesus Without Fear, William Fay

Share Jesus Without Fear Students Reaching Students,

  William Fay

COUPLES RETREAT 

Sandy Cove Ministries, Maryland, Sandycove.org 

Weekend to Remember, Familylife.com 

Ahhh....The Thrift Shop - Revisited

This is a rerun, but I have a funny story and an even funnier picture.
Colin called the other night to tell me about a project he was working on, he needed an empty whisky bottle to complete it. I asked him where he got a whisky bottle from. After teasing me that he took it from a homeless man, he said he got it from his "other" thrift shop.
Apparently he has two thrift shops down in Florida - one that he buys his clothes from and the "sketchy thrift shop" where he gets everything else. So I learned something new - I need to be on the lookout for my second thrift shop - a sketchy one - I have a few in mind.

 And make sure you check out the picture at the bottom of the page - enjoy!

Yes, my eyes are a little glazed over and I'm in my happy place! Remember when I assured you this wouldn't be a recipe blog - well, I can't guarantee that this won't turn into a thrift shop blog.

Until I got married I had no idea these stores existed. My mom's idea of a thrift shop was my older sister's box of out grown clothes. My husband grew up frequenting thrift shops and had acquired a bad taste for them.

So how did this happy union come about?

While living in Dallas while my husband attended seminary they had a shop for students You could go once a week and pick out 3 shirts, 3 pants, etc. For FREE! How wonderful, I was hooked into wearing other peoples cast offs - that happened to come from the wealthy, generous churches of North Dallas - tags included.

When we moved to PA (baby in tow) I was on a mission to locate these stores - not just for clothes, but baby toys, furniture, shoes and other household items - I draw the line at underwear - although hot water kills ALL germs!

There was one right in my town that wasn't free, but pretty close to it. Now the secret of the thrift shop is frequency. This store was conveniently located on my way home from anywhere so I could pop in, browse and leave. They also had a toy section so it guaranteed my little ones were busy and happy.

Now the Thrift Shop is not for the faint of heart:

1) Be prepared for some odd people (the crazy cat lady who sits her leashed cat on the counter to watch her try on clothes)
2) Go in with an open mind - if you are looking for pink snow boots, you might be disappointed but blue might be your color.
3) Not all deals are good - check the prices - a tank top for $3.50 is no bargain when I can get them at Old Navy for 2/$6.
4) Don't over buy - it's hard but just because something is a good price doesn't mean you should buy it. If it doesn't fit, is not your color, or in good shape, put it back. If it is in good shape at the thrift shop - it will hold up - it has already been washed numerous times and is still in good shape. How many times have you bought something new, washed it and been disappointed with the results.
5) It helps to know how to sew - hemming, taking in, letting out, sewing buttons - all these things help you get a better bargain - if it needs repairs you can ask for a discount. Point out the problem and be quiet - they usually will lower the price.
6) Stains aren't a deal breaker. Again, ask for a discount and boiling water, detergents and a scrub brush do wonders.
7) Resist the urge to buy too far in advance for your kids. When Megan was a baby I bought a dress - size 6 that hung in her closet for years.
8) Visit several thrift shops - I know one is good for furniture, another clothes. Ask at the shop if they know of others - people love to share their "success" stories.
9) If you are looking for something special - give yourself time to find it. When my son was going to prom he needed an outfit. We found a black suit, blue shirt, and shoes all on the same shopping day - the only thing that was missing was the tie - he wanted to match his date's dress. We ended up going to a "real" store and spent more on the tie than everything else combined - YES! And my teenage son continues to see the value in thrift shop shopping!
10) Ask about specials. One store has half prices on Friday night. Another is every Wednesday. At the end of the season most stores have bag sales. Another has a dollar rack. Just Ask! And if you are looking for something special it doesn't hurt to see if they might have it in the back - that's how we got a tuxedo shirt for another son.

While vacationing in Hawaii (yes, frugality does pay off!) instead of heading to the store to buy our souvenir Hawaiian shirts we found the Salvation Army. We outfitted the whole family in shirts and dresses for less than what one shirt would have cost.

                                                 Now that makes cents!

Why Me?

When people think about thriftiness it is usually synonymous with deprivation, cheap, or being in want. It doesn't have to be that way. I have chosen to be thrifty and might I say nifty too! My husband grew up having no choice but to be frugal - his dad was ill and his mom was only able to work low paying jobs so they did everything they could to save money which included public assistance, thrift shop clothing and basically doing without. He will always tease me that I was "rich" growing up but I like to remind him that he did have a pool - even if it was a blow up!

So at times we are at odds - Dave Ramsey likes to call it being a nerd and a free spirit. The nerd loves to save and the free spirit, well is a free spirit. We have had to come to a place of compromise in our marriage. We started out as poor seminary students and quickly became poor seminary students with a child! It was in those first years of marriage that we established how we were going to make money and more importantly how we were going to make the money we did have last longer.

Along the way we learned how to be frugal without feeling deprived. I think that is what makes it work. When you start feeling like you are missing out, or not getting what you "deserve" you give up on frugality! The trick is to scale back as far as you can and if you go too far, bring it back up a notch!

For example, if my kids would complain that there were no good "treats" in the house - I would step up my baking that week. If Cam was pushing to go out to dinner, I would make a special home-cooked meal. If child number 4 was complaining about hand-me-downs, I would ask what it was they were looking for in their wardrobe and see if we could find it (usually looking at the thrift shop first, and then moving up from there - or should I say down from there!)

If you read the directions on your dish washer detergent it will say " pour in 1 Tab." but how many times do we mindlessly fill the whole cap - equaling about 1/2 cup. The same goes for the washing machine - if 1/4 cup of detergent cleans my clothes as well as a full capful, why waste the rest. Look for ways you can cut back and make things last longer, do without or find an alternative.

We have 3 cars that are over 10 years old - if we can make them last as long as possible that is cheaper than replacing them every 5 years. That is a big ticket, but I do the same thing with plastic baggies - I will rinse and dry them and put them back in the drawer to be used again. I have the money to buy new ones, but being frugal is a lifestyle choice - and it also makes me look green!

Try scaling back until it is uncomfortable, ineffective or not worth your time. It might be cheaper for me to bake my own bread, but the time and effort it would take are not worth it to me.

If you are being thrifty to pay off debt - do everything you can to quickly dig out and get your finances in order - it will be hard and uncomfortable but it is well worth the effort. Dave Ramsey calls it "gazelle like intensity" - doing everything that possible to be debt free.

But if you are trying to make your money last longer, be a better steward of all God has given you and set a good example to your children, then thriftiness doesn't have to be about deprivation but about making better choices and for me that makes cents and sensibility!

Two Ears and One Mouth

About 7 years ago an Artist in Residence came to our school and created a wall tile sculpture. Each of the students painted a tile and the teachers each molded an apple and wrote a saying on it. It was then hung on a clay tree. It is pretty magnificant. On my apple I wrote the verse "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry".

Sometimes I am "the enforcer". I am a teacher's assistant who works with Learning Support and Autistic Support students. As I am sitting on the carpet (yes, most of my day is spent sitting "like a pretzel on the carpet")  I sit there and watch. I make sure they have their eyes on the speaker, hands to themselves, and that they are understanding what is being taught. I will also say over and over - "look at your friends, is what you are doing making sense!?" Try that saying with your friends! Another good saying is - "I'm confused - what should you be doing?"

I also have a number of hand signals to redirect the students. I have the 2 fingers in the air which means I have to go to the bathroom, flat hand over my head means you are going "over the top" and a swipe down my face into a fist at my chest means - "get your self control". I love using the signals - they are quick and get the point across - with very little talking involved. And don't underestimate the power of the "evil eye"!

It strikes me as funny that I have become such a disciplinarian. When I had my own classroom in Dallas, that was my weakest trait. I loved to teach, interact with the kids, create bulletin boards, but I hated the discipline. I think because I didn't know how. But enter 4 children of my own and I became quite good at discipline. I had to! But I was sort of a "hammer" disciplinarian. I came down quick and hard - very little wiggle room. Something I have learned through teaching is to be more of a "screwdriver" - "Work" the discipline in, leaving room for it to sink in and hopefully stick. Nails are pretty easy to pull out, screws take a little more time!

The reason I put that verse on my apple is because I am "living" it everyday  - "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry." I love that verse! And I use it everyday in the classroom. So many times if I pause before I react, I see the whole picture and it is not always what I think it is - for example we have a rule in our class that you have to ask to go to the bathroom, but you can get up at anytime to get a tissue (we are trying to discourage nose picking and eating). So when a student gets up, my first reaction is to ask if they have permission, but if I pause for a minute, I might see them getting a tissue - no big deal.

A number of you have asked me for more parenting ideas - well here is one. When I think back on my parenting, I could have used this technique - instead of reacting immediately to the situation, take a minute to look and listen and then respond - it would have saved me a ton of apologies to my kids and taught them to take the time to hear the other person's side of the story. Now, don't get me wrong, we are the parents and I'm not a big advocate of talking a situation to death, but I do think we do our family and friends a disservice by immediately forming an opinion and issuing the punishment. I can name numerous situations with my kids that if I had paused to see the whole situation, my reaction would have been very different and I think it would have resulted in a better correction.

Yes, I also said friends, this doesn't just apply to those in our family - we should be doing this with our friends, too. How many times have I formed an opinion of why a friend did or said something without taking the time to talk with them about it. I think this is where the anger comes into this verse. If we take the time to listen and take our time to speak, it helps to slow down or even eliminate the anger that can creep into our hearts.

There is a reason God gives us two ears and just one mouth. I need to use my two ears to listen and observe the whole situation and then use my one mouth -choosing my words carefully. It will help me to be the person God intends me to be - And it doesn't hurt to ask myself -  "is what I'm doing making sense?" Now that makes sense!!