Saturday, March 26, 2011

It's Not Good, It's Not Bad, It's Just Different!

Anne, Me and Sharon

Yesterday I was on a "Teen Parenting Panel" at our church. I was joining 2 other moms whose kids happen to be my kids best friends. As we prepared for this workshop it was interesting to hear how each of us has approached parenting. Between us we have 13 kids - 8 of them being teenagers, 3 are in college, 1 is getting married and 3 of our boys are graduating from high school. As I listened to each of them talk I couldn't help but think "why didn't I do it that way, that is such a good idea, I guess I screwed up"?? I love to have a plan - but it can give you a false hope that in 10 easy steps you will have the perfect child. Well, it doesn't work that way - God does tell us to "plan our path, but that God will determine our steps".

As I write my blog and share parenting ideas with you I don't want you to think that everything we did was right - that is only what I share with you. There were plenty of things that didn't work out so well - you just won't hear about them!

It's amazing how 4 kids with the same exact parents can be so different, what works with one, falls flat with the other. I needed to "learn" my kids and parent them according to "the way they should go" - meaning the way God created them.

It was fun to sit with these ladies and hear what each of us are doing to raise Godly men and women, but the bottom line is all of our children are doing well - they love the Lord, are seeking to serve him and make the right choices. And when they make mistakes, we are able to help them turn to God for forgiveness (just like their parents have to do). You see when you are parenting -  it's not good, it's not bad it's just different!

I loved what Anne said "if our kids never struggle, they will never have a reason to turn to God in prayer."

So instead of feeling bad that I didn't do this or that with my kids, I need to remember that God made Cam and I their parents and placed them right where they should be. I need to seek wisdom daily from the Bible, my husband and Godly resources.

Sharon was kind enough to put together a resource list for our workshop and I want to share it with all of you! Enjoy!

WFIL 560 AM Philadelphia’s Christian Radio
  Look for these shows:
Family Life Today with Dennis Rainey, 9:00am and 8:00pm
Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, 7:00am and 8:30pm
New Life Live with Steve Arterburn, 1:00pm
Adventures in Odyssey, 7:30pm

STAR 99.1 FM Family Safe Music
K-LOVE 89.1 FM Christian Music

Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas
Love & Respect, Emerson Eggerich
The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman
The Love Dare, Stephen and Alex Kendrick
The Language of Love, Gary Smalley and John Trent

Created to Be His Help Meet, Debi Pearl
Lies Women Believe (and the truth that sets them free), Nancy Leigh DeMoss
The Power of a Praying Wife, Stormie Omartian
What’s Submission Got to Do with It? Cindy Easley
Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, Joanna Weaver

Interviewing Your Daughter’s Date, Dennis Rainey
Every Man’s Battle, Stephen Arterburn
Wild at Heart, John Eldredge

Shepherding a Child’s Heart, Tedd Tripp
Growing Kids God’s Way: Biblical Ethics for Parenting,
  Gary Ezzo
The Smart Parent, Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo
Parenting Today’s Adolescent, Dennis and Barbara Rainey
Boundaries for Teens, John Townsend
How To Talk So Teens Will Listen & Listen So Teens Will Talk,   Adele Faber
Teen Proofing, John Rosemond
Raising a Child Conservatively in a Sexually Permissive World, Sol Gordon and Judith Gordon
Family Faith Walks, Kelly J. Haack
Teaching Kids about God, John Trent, Rick Osborne and Kurt Bruner
Different Children Different Needs, Charles F. Boyd
Your Family, Kenn and Betty Gangel
Spiritual Mentoring of Teens, Joe White and Jim Weidmann
God Sex and Your Child, John Nieder
Confident Parents, Exceptional Teens, Ted Haggard and John Bolin
Bringing up BOYS, James Dobson
The World’s Easiest Guide to Family Relationships. Gary Chapman with Randy Southern
Fathering a Son, Paul Heiderbrecht and Jerry Rohrbach
Going Public, David and Kelli Pritchard with Dean MerrillAge of Opportunity, Paul David Tripp
Got Teens?, Jill Savage and Pam Farrel
Boundaries, Henry Cloud and John Townsend
Parenting Adolescents, Kevin Huggins
The 10 Best Decisions Every Parent Can Make, Bill and Pam Farrel
Daughters and Dads, Chap and Dee Clark
Sacred Parenting, Gary L. Thomas
Family-Based Youth Ministry, Mark DeVries
A Boy’s Passage, Brian D. Molitor

Lies Young Women Believe, Nancy Leigh DeMoss and      Dannah Gresh (For girls)
The Truth about Guys, Chad Eastham (For girls)
Live Like a Jesus Freak, dc Talk
Every Young Man’s Battle, Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker (For boys)
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, Sean Covey
Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low
  Expectations, Alex and Brett Harris
Crazy Love, Francis Chan
The Hiding Place, Corrie Ten Boom
The Holiness of God, R.C.Sproul
More Than a Carpenter, Josh McDowell
The Reason for God, Timothy Keller
God’s Smuggler, Brother Andrew
Through Gates of Splendor, Elisabeth Elliot
The Cross and the Switchblade, David Wilkerson
Bruchko, Bruce Olson
Peace Child, Don Richardson

I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Joshua Harris
Passport to Purity,;
  An excellent do-it-yourself, audio-guided weekend
  for parent and young teen
The 10 Commandments of Dating, Ben Young
Pure Excitement, Joe White
Boy Meets Girl, Say Hello to Courtship, Joshua Harris

Faith Alone, Martin Luther
Jesus Calling, Sarah Young
Face to Face: Praying the Scriptures for Intimate Worship, Kenneth Boa
Family Devotions, Josh McDowell
Moments With You; Daily Connections for Couples,
  Dennis and Barbara Rainey
The Love Dare Day by Day, Stephen Kendrick
The One Year Mother Daughter Devo, Dannah Gresh with Janet Mylin

No Greater Love
The Second Chance
Faith Like Potatoes
End of the Spear
Facing the Giants
Remember the Titans
The River Within
Gifted Hands
Last Flight Out
Come What May
The Climb
To Save a Life
The Lost and Found Family
Amazing Grace
The Nativity Story
Love Finds a Home
Set Apart
The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry
The Grace Card—new in theaters
Courage—coming September 2011 in theaters 

The Truth Project, Focus on the Family
Crazy Love, Francis Chan
Experiencing God, Henry Blackaby
The Holiness of God, R.C.Sproul

New Living Translation (NLT), Tyndale Publishers
  (Easier to understand)  
New International Version (NIV), Zondervan 
  Life Application Study Bible 
  (Very popular translation, great study Bible) 
New American Standard Bible (NASB), Zondervan 
  (Accurate to original text, Pastors use at BFC) 

The Total Money Makeover, Dave Ramsey
Financial Peace Revisited, Dave Ramsey

God’s Smuggler, Brother Andrew
Through Gates of Splendor, Elisabeth Elliot
The Cross and the Switchblade, David Wilkerson
Bruchko, Bruce Olson
Peace Child, Don Richardson

The Hiding Place, Corrie Ten Boom
Led by Faith, Immaculee Ilibagiza
Amish Grace, Donald Kraybill
Mother Teresa: A Complete Auth. Biography, Kathryn Spink
Into the Deep, Robert Rogers

Compassion International,

Share Jesus Without Fear, William Fay
Share Jesus Without Fear Students Reaching Students,
  William Fay

Sandy Cove Ministries, Maryland, 
Weekend to Remember, 


  1. I absolutely loved the panel and learned a ton. It's very encouraging to hear from moms who are further down this road than me. I ordered the Passport to Purity kit for me & A to do this summer together. :)

  2. Sorry to have missed your session...but I have a few years before I have to parent a teen! I'll call you then :) By the way, do you get some kind of kick-back for Sharon putting Sandy Cove Weekends to remember on there???? Love you!

  3. i love how you said, "whose kids happen to be my kids best friends". Isnt the body of Christ a great thing?! The fellowship lines cross over into FAMILY lines and its just beautiful in my opinion:)


  4. "This book is only for those couples whose marriage is on the rocks". But when a small group from our church decided to do it together and I got into it, I decided otherwise. I thought my marriage was ok before starting this book, and there are a few daily challenges that my wife and I have been doing on a daily basis anyway, but there also was quite a few daily challenges or "dares" that made me do things I had not done for my wife in a very long times.


You don"t have to have a blog account to leave a comment, but please let me know who you are.