My Cereal Is Homeless!

Comedian Jim Gaffigan does a bit where he talks about buying generic food and how embarrassing it it. He says his cereal, that is located on the bottom shelf of the aisle, comes in a bag - it's worse than a homeless person, because even a homeless person has a box to sleep in - his cereal has none!

Generic brands have come a long way. It used to be that you could tell the difference between a food with a "designer label" and one without - not so much anymore. I read an article about a pickle company that would fill a vat with pickles and after they were done filling the jars for a nationally known name brand, they would place the generic jars on the conveyor belt to be filled from the same vat - same pickles - two different prices.

And I do mean different prices - generic is significantly cheaper, even when you are using a coupon. That's why I don't bother too much with coupons, I can usually buy it cheaper by choosing generic, but at times they do discount the name brand so it does beat generic - be vigilant about checking prices and it helps to keep a price book. You write down the prices of products you buy consistently - that way you know when you are getting a deal and you should stock up. You can scan the grocers ads and see if it is worth a trip to their store to stock up on what's on sale.

"But Mary, my family won't eat generic"!!

If this sounds like you, try these tips:

1. Don't ask, don't tell - use the generic product and throw out the evidence - make sure you bury it deep in the trash can. When they rave about the meal, you can choose whether or not you want to let them in on your secret. You will probably get the most resistance from your spouse - kids are easy. At youth group they were playing a game about breakfast and my boys yelled out Crunchy Heads (the generic brand of Captain Crunch) - that's my boys!!

2. Pull a switch-or-roo - I make my own syrup - 3 cups sugar, 1 1/2 cups water, 3 Tab. molasses, 2 Tab. vanilla - boil  and serve. For years I poured it into Mrs. Buttersworth - no one knew the difference.

3. Have a blind taste test - When the kids were little I bought tri-colored pasta - it looked colorful and was a little more nutritious than regular. But the kids would fuss - so we'd play a game where they would close their eyes and I would feed them one -  if they could guess what color it was, they only had to eat the white ones - I won every time! If your family truly can tell the difference, offer to buy their brand when it is on sale or you have a coupon. Long ago I could tell the difference with peanut butter so I would buy Jif but I continued to search for a generic brand. I tried other stores' generics and soon found a brand that tasted just as good and is almost $2 cheaper.

It's funny how a visual can keep you from being frugal. When I was comparing groceries prices at a Super Walmart I bought their generic brands. The packaging looked cheap, and I felt its tasted that way too. So I decided it wasn't worth the extra trip to save a couple pennies. I also don't shop at Sam's or BJs - they only sell name brands, so even though it might be cheaper than Giant, it's not cheaper than generic - it helps to know your prices and to not have product loyalty - I'm always saying "give me the cheapest brand".

Jim Gaffigan finishes his bit by explaining to the check out girl that he is buying these generic brands for a neighbor and that he buys all his groceries from Sky Mall!

Well, I make no apologies - I buy generic - it just makes cents!